The dearest experience that a human being can go through is to love and be loved. While relationships vary from human to human for many reasons, here are five categories that can give you insight into what kind of Lover you are. Remember that every day is different and while being in the same relationship for a while, you may experience different stages in your love depending on the mood, emotions and mental state you are in.
I invite you to take a closer look at your own behavior through the descriptions of these five categories and consider your needs in your relationship so you can have a conscious way of reading your behavior and truly allow your relationship to develop in harmony.
You are a giver with excellence. You understand that Love is all about giving and you find more joy in giving than withholding or even receiving. Your relationship is healthy as long as the gift is born from true unconditional space and detachment from any reward.
Observe whether your behavior is based on a need for validation or acknowledgment of your presence. If so, then you’re moving from a “giving” role to a “Needing” role and the relationship can easily spiral into disharmony due to a lack of self-love, self-confidence, and self-worth.
You have supporting attributes that contribute to the strength of the relationship. Supporting others by inspiring and encouraging projects or dreams is a great attribute of the Lover and should be part of the “Lover’s Toolkit”. While support is an important part of Beloved, be aware of the nature of the support you offer. if support enters the phase of compromising your own Truth to give the other “rights” or “space”, then your caring role emerges out of an external need to compensate for internal deficiencies. Remain aware of the intentions and motives of your support and never be afraid to share your Truth even if you are judged to be unsupportive.
You are the Lover whose partner’s vision is based on aspirations for a deeply meaningful relationship. Silence is one of your tools as well as introspection and communication. You tend to look to the source of what you’re experiencing as the ultimate space to connect with your partner. While this is the most soulful of relationships, beware of carrying too much of the subtleties of this behavior and losing your footing to live the moment right here in this physical reality. Too much introspection and reflection can be a symptom of isolation and create, in the long run, a lack of density and ultimately, a physical disconnection.
You are a person whose Truth is known to the Self and whose presence is a constant challenge to others. When Presence is based on Love, challengers become the perfect match for the couple to grow. The key, for the Lover-Challenger, is to stay anchored in Love. You have to stand as a good mirror and avoid falling into the trap of being a wall of no acceptance. A door that stands before others as impassable space, rigid and inflexible, is never ready to be opened. The Challenger-lover’s power comes from knowledge of its Truth, not from systematic resistance and contradiction.
You are a Dreamer-Lover. Who feels and can strengthen the feelings that Love brings. You give the feeling of butterflies and a beating heart. You are a poet, a risk taker, a creative. While love inspires you more than anything else and fuels your passion for the moment, be careful not to consume it. Romantics tend to easily lose track of reality by bringing Cinderella stories. The reality is, in a relationship, Cinderella and Prince have to coexist, grow and remain friends beyond the fact that the shoes match. Being a romantic Lover means empowering your emotions with their Truth and giving them a voice from time to time. Remain aware that while these moments create real memories, other, more solid moments are to be created out of chaos and challenge.
There is indeed more than one Beloved in all of us. Most circumstances will dictate which lover has to step out to best handle the situation. Trust that your inner guidance is always showing you the best way to handle your relationship. After all, Life is nothing more than an experience of connection and memory.