Marriage takes a lot of work. Between two people in a committed relationship, a lot of effort has to be put into keeping things running smoothly. Contrary to common naivety, marriage isn’t just about loving one another – it’s about merging two lives into one. With this comes a lot of responsibility and coordination.
Who will live where? Whose furniture will stay and go? Will there be children? Who will have a job? Who will do what tasks on what days? How are you going to shape your life around each other in one space? Are you willing to stay committed to one another?
These are all questions a married couple should consider before getting married, but they are often overlooked out of blind love. While some marriages survive without all this thinking, many end up suffering. Pairs that end in marriage counseling often suffer from lack of preparation before marriage.
Other couples, however, just go through a lull or a rough patch in their relationship. Failed marriages or unexpected events such as infidelity or sudden trauma in a family can cause two people to separate or separate violently.
His goal is to stop marital difficulties before they reach a point of no return. Couples can do this through personal reconciliation or, the method suggested, visiting a marriage counselor. If any of these five symptoms appear in your marriage, your best course of action is to seek counseling as soon as possible.
You catch your partner in a lie
Contrary to popular belief, multiple lies are allowed in a marriage and one lie does not automatically mean the marriage is over. If a man lies about being at work to visit bars or go to the batting cages, this is not a sign the marriage is over. He just wanted space. If a woman lies about a purchase here or there, that’s something to discuss – but no divorce in sight.
However, a partner who often lies or who lies about big events could be hiding something big. This couple is suspicious, and their lies can damage the marriage irreparably.
Communication has stopped
Marriage is mostly about communicating. Who will pick up the kids from school? Where will you be at this time so I can adjust my schedule? How do you feel about this decision? A married couple must contain a constant form of contact for a marriage to be successful. If this contact is to be broken – say someone needs space or is leaving for a solo trip – there must be prior discussion of this sudden breaking of the communication bridge.
Couples who stop talking to each other usually use silence to cover up or avoid underlying issues. This is perhaps one of the most important signs to watch for – couples who don’t communicate are most at risk for separation.
Sometimes there is a lot of communication in a marriage – but the downside is that all of this conversation is always negative. Whether it’s insulting each other with expletives or simply engaging in a shouting match, this kind of communication is toxic. It’s normal to vent frustrations and fight or spat out words every now and then, but constant yelling doesn’t bode well for the longevity of a marriage.
Judgment, shame, and abandonment are not pleasant emotions. When one partner makes the other feel less than anything else, the relationship can be irreversibly damaged. Even in a relationship where the verbal abuse is mutual, neither one is right if they continue to maintain constant arguments.
Emotional abuse can be a reason for marriages to end, but some forms of manipulation are smaller and more normal mental violence can be bitten early through therapy. Some of these manipulative actions and words are not considered to be corrupting the minds of those who perform these acts, and education and caring can cause these actions to wear off.
One common form of emotional abuse is withholding affection as a form of punishment. If one partner forgets to do the dishes and the other partner’s response is to ignore him and refuse to acknowledge his presence, this could be a sign of an emotionally abusive relationship.
Afraid of partner
Do you find yourself trying to avoid making your partner angry – not out of love and concern for their own emotions, but out of fear of the repercussions? Do you get scared when something goes wrong in a day that might upset your partner? If you answered yes to any of these questions, marriage counseling is absolutely necessary.
Fear of a partner’s reaction is not a sign of a healthy marriage. In extreme situations, this fear is usually a learned behavior due to physical, verbal or emotional abuse.